What Would Happen If.

Garrett can’t make it through a day without asking at least three “what would happen if” scenarios. Things such as “what would happen if an army of midgets burst out of that building over there and started marching towards us?”, or “what would happen if those fuzzy sheep you like started chasing you with anger in their eyes, bahhing malicious threats at you as they went?”  Essentially, our lives stay pretty interesting and imagination friendly thanks to Garrett, and I can’t say I’d have it any other way.

The thing is, however, that with the wedding only 5 days away, I keep having such scenarios pop in my head, all wedding related.  ( and yes, I blame Gar)  I thought I’d share some, and hopefully you all can assure me that such things are preposterous… though humorous to ponder. Here goes nothing.

1. What would happen if the place we’re getting married catches on fire, burns to the ground, and is thus rendered useless… thus keeping us from EVER getting married because the rapture comes the very next day?!

2.  What would happen if, in the middle of the reception, the cupcakes (all 250 of them) fall on a small child as they’re choosing their delectable goodness, smothering them in layers of icing, causing the child to run around the hall telling people he’s the cake?

3.  What would happen if no one dances, and Garrett and I are left on the dance floor all by our lonesomes, awkwardly dancing the night away while onlookers sit and throw silverware at us?

4.  What would happen if Dennis, our pastor, forgets English and starts speaking in Japanese, and no one else there is able to translate… and thus, we can’t get married because we don’t know when to say ‘I do’?

5.  What would happen if I sleep too late on my wedding day, and everyone leaves for it without me, and there are no cars left behind, and my cell phone mysteriously dies, and the home phones all fall and break? WHAT THEN?

6.  What would happen if Garrett forgets his pants, and decides that it’s a sign that he shouldn’t actually be marrying me, and thus runs off into the woods forever, becomes a hermit, and writes a 10,000 page manifesto?

That’s all I got… for now.  I get a new one almost hourly.  I understand why weddings are stressful in the last week, now… it’s not because I have too much to do, it’s because I have nothing to do, and my mind keeps playing tricks on me because of it!!! BAH, GOOD ORGANIZATION!!!!!!!!!  But I mean, what would happen if I hadn’t planned ahead and gotten everything for the wedding done early, and thus forgot to buy a dress or order cake, and was so upset that I ran away and wrote my own manifesto instead of marrying Gar? WHAT THEN!?

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